Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
