you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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