you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
