I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
