guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
