new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
