i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
