my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
