just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
