Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
