i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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