i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
