Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
