If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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