I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
