please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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