apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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