Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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