Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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