Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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