If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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