So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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