so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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