He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize