mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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