Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Small penises have feelings too.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
