have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
