Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
