I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have aggressive nipples.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
