I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
