): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
