OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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