Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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