what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
