Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
