But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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