I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
