We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
