oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
