I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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