But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
