Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
