there's paper in my vomit.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The adults are the big ones right?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
