I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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