I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
