420 ftw
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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