apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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