And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
