Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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