nut hugger
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
