I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
