That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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