my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My balls are so social today.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
is it fun? or sober?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
