i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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