This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
