I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
