We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize