Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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