no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
