I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
