no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
